The Number One Secret to Finding Your Style

Perfectly nice homes are perfectly boring. The super sleek sofa with a throw placed “just so,” the sweet little slipper chair angled for lively conversation. It’s beautiful! I get it. But… what if you hate that stupid slipper chair? What if you only bought it because it was shown with that plain jane sofa on page 6 of your favorite catalog?

Hey, there’s nothing at all wrong with nice, I just think that you want more than that. To break free from the perfection trap, you have to be brave. You have to be willing to take a risk and go beyond page 6.

Can I share a super quick story with you? Last week I told my girls I was taking them for a haircut. They both had long, lovely, all-one-length hair that is pretty typical of the school-age set in these parts. Their hair was beautiful. But Annabelle told me that it just didn’t feel like her and she wanted to try something new.

This 7-year-old child hit Pinterest, found a photo of a dramatic undercut (i.e. one side of the head shaved), and instantly knew she wanted to go full-on Miley circa 2017. Like, zero hesitation.

Listen, I think this look is straight up fierce, and I knew that Annabelle could pull it off. But I was a little nervous for her. Did she even realize how daring this cut would be for a first grader in the ‘burbs? What if she was teased? What if she hated it? I’m a mom, it’s my job to worry for my kid.

But you guys, this girl did not waiver an inch. She was actually really annoyed with all the adults who were trying to nudge her towards something safer. Every time Annabelle was challenged, she came back with,

“This is totally my style. Just let me be myself!“

How can you argue with that?

To Own Your Style, You Have To Be Brave

Personal style isn’t just about what you wear or how you style your hair. Your home and what you put in it are an extension of your personal style. If your house doesn’t feel like “you,” you will never feel truly satisfied.

That DOES NOT mean throwing out all your stuff and spending thousands of dollars on all new stuff. Far from it. It’s all about assessing the things you already have and deciding if they feel good to you. You could try that “spark joy” thing that is all the rage these days.

If something only sparks a “meh,” be brave and get rid of it. Or change it. Or sell it. Even if it’s a classic or an investment piece or a _____________. Just don’t let it stay status quo.

What if it’s something you love but it’s totally, gasp, out of style?? Be brave and own that BarcaLounger!

Not everybody will get why you love or hate something in isolation, so you need to be brave and do your own thing. I promise that if you commit, it will all come together in the end.

Well, What Does That Look Like? Give Me Some Examples.

• It could look like hanging that really crazy piece of art that only you love above your couch.
• It could look like painting your dining room an “unpopular” color because it reminds you of that trip you took to Spain the summer before your senior year of college.
• It could look like displaying that funny paper mache mermaid in your very serious office because your daughter made it just for you.

OK, Now I Have a Bunch Of Weird Crap In My House. What Happens Then?

Ha, half kidding, but it might feel like that at the beginning. Be brave, and trust me.

When you start with the things that you love and then fill in with some of those quieter basics, you will discover that your rooms begin to feel… good. Exciting even! You will be on your way to creating a home that is perfectly you without starting from scratch.

Once you understand what you are drawn to, what you like, and who you are, it becomes so much easier to cut through the noise and choose the things that work for your real life and not the idealized version.

Are You Ready To Be Brave?

I think you are. And I know you will love where it leads you!

So whatever happened with the First Grade undercut? Well, she did it.

Watching Annabelle’s face glow brighter and brighter with each snip of the scissors and swipe of the clippers was seriously inspiring. She hopped out of the stylist’s chair with the confidence of a pop star taking the stage and was met with a big round of applause from everyone in the salon.

Annabelle just grinned, looked up at me and said, “See? I told you it was my style.”

That is one brave kid. I know you can get there too.

Want more? Here’s the full collection of Bloom in the Black decorating posts. If you’re interested in having me cover a particular topic, shoot me an email and I’ll add it to the list!